who the weekends are HARD! johnny works from 11 to 11 sat AND sun, so it'sjust meee n heer. today we kind of bickered at ea. other about time and what not. how we can't do anything unless one of us watched kayla. i don't know exactly what i said at the end of the convo but he left pretty mad and slammed the door. thats the one thing about me i don't think once i get mad...and once i get mad iget sorta sad/mad. haha. then i cry. then i say more hateful things to him. BUT, i kinda think it's' the5yr thing. that and sleep deprivation. for some reason kayla tend to wake up at night and cry for atleast an hr. for the past few days and i don't think it's colic, -shes too old. nightmare? i don'tknow. SO me n my man nag at ea. other. i honestly think ineed anger management. actually just a good place to vent- since i don't talk to many ppl no more. and the ppl i do talk to tend to find ways to NOT make me feel better... because usually they have the mindset that i'm over exaggerating on how hard it is to take care of a child". but unlike other ppl IM ALWAYS WITH HER. i take my 3 classes at highline comm. college then we pick her up come home- TRY to sleep, (if she's not then we'renot),TRY to do the hw. then johnny leaves for work. that's how the week day's are. but i prefer weekday's cuz ....i get a break. weekends are just long and it gets lonely... my sister mentioned maybe i'mdepressed...but am i? i dont feel depressed. i feel overwhelmed. but my mindframe is constantly "SACRIFICE NOW, and ENJOY THE BENEFITS LATER" this by finishing school, saving money, letting kayla grow beautiful and strong... then later when i get my dream job...itll be good? i want to get out of this house i want my own...... as you can see...i'm a hopeless sensitive daydreaming romantic mother. HAHA. talk more later luv, j3nnyf3r -i'm not gonna edit this or fix mispelled words k | 
gz it was -april- the hardest month i've ever experienced as a real adult, johnny got into a car accident and he quit his original job.. so it was FN hard as hell.... but now that i work the benifits from the job are wonderful and johnny is gona hopefully get his ..... the thing is imma start school in a few days full time and i'm working a little more than part time.......... then we have kayla to worry about....but the GOOD thing is we have a plan and we have a goal.... 
) was funn in some way's but nothing get's down to being a mother. your whole life changes...down to the littlest microspec. youve never felt wat was being felt you never seen wat was being seen you never imagined where you were and WTF you were doing until you bring about this lifestyle.
i hate arguing wit people and it takes a lot for me to apologize. now he's going to cali and i'm hella trippen out n shit. i don't want my boy looken at dem females. last time he went there one of dem forced herself on him..wtf. iono all i do know is dat i love this nigga, and i don't want to be obligated to fuck shit up because he did if he does atleast. we've been through so much and i could tell that he would be such a great guy to whoever he has, do i even deserve him? he thinks i do for reasons i might never knoe....i just want ta jump on him everytime i see him. i never thought that i could love someone like i do johnny. i feel it in his kisses and how he holds me it feels hella good and to some people dey always try to bring me down......... saying it's just puppy love well is age determining that? is age the reason why it's puppy love...if i was older would it be just a fling. to some people whatever i do it's just nothing........ like i'm immature not sure of things.... i guess i am immature and i'm not sure of things buh you know i am sure that my feeling are true for him so all yalls FUCK OFF everyone has problems in there relationships bitch...haha.